Give Me Love
by Newt27
Summary: Prequel to Darling, You're Mean. This is the story of Kyleigh's journey through her tumultuous early life. This is not a romance; it is a story about Kyleigh Montgomery, Carlisle Cullen, and the need for love.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the prequel to ****Darling, You're Mean****. **** s/6172326/1/Darling-You-re-Mean**

**I wanted to flesh out Kyleigh's backstory and explore her relationship with Carlisle. No Jasper in this series; this isn't a story about romance, it's a story about love. Enjoy!**

Kyleigh pressed herself against the wall in the hope that it would quell her shaking. It didn't work. She wasn't sure how long she'd been curled in this position, waiting for someone to help, but she didn't think she could take much more of the pain. Other patients who had come in after her had already been triaged and whisked away by the busy ER nurses, but no one seemed willing to help her. Kyleigh closed her eyes against the pain, praying to die. She soon slipped into a stupor, the room blurring and the noise fading, until she was sure she'd gotten her wish.

"What more can we do for her? It's been three days, Dr. Cullen," a voice said somewhere over Kyleigh's head.

"She will wake up when her body is ready. She faced a severe shock. Not even someone young like her will bounce back from that immediately," another voice said, somewhere to her right.

Kyleigh tried to groan, but something was lodged in her throat. She gagged over it, beginning to freak out. She opened her eyes, trying to see what was choking her.

"Whoa, whoa, easy, little one," came the male voice. "Don't fight it, it's okay."

She tried to cough. Tears came to her eyes out of fear.

"It's okay, honey, you're okay," the female voice said.

Kyleigh turned her head. A dark skinned nurse with kind eyes came into focus.

"You're safe, honey, it's alright." Trudy stroked Kyleigh's hair, her voice soothing. My name is Trudy, this is Dr. Cullen." Trudy nodded across the bed. Kyleigh slowly turned her head, seeing a young blond haired man standing next to her. His smile was both beautiful and reassuring.

"Hello," he said softly. "Nice to meet you."

Despite her panic, she felt a little calmer upon seeing the doctor in charge of her.

"We can take the feeding tube out soon. Let me just check your vitals and see how your body is doing. Okay?"

Kyleigh nodded then gagged from the movement. Trudy continued to stroke her hair. After Dr. Cullen had inspected her head to toe and noted everything down, he and Trudy removed the feeding tube. Kyleigh was most disgusted by the fact that the feeding tube was in her nose. She tried hard not to think about it, though it was difficult, considering Trudy was pulling on it. Right before the final pull, Trudy paused, allowing Kyleigh to breathe as best as she could. As soon as the tube cleared her throat and exited her nose, Kyleigh gagged again, coughing and sputtering. Trudy handed her a wet towel, urging her to stick it in her mouth to wet it. More tears rolled while Kyleigh sucked at it, struggling to get water out of it.

"There you go, hon," Trudy told her. "Take a few deep breaths. It's okay."

Kyleigh's throat ached so much it was hard to breathe at all. She tried to ask Trudy what happened, but no sound could get past the pain.

Dr. Cullen appeared to read her mind, as she soon explained that they had found her half alive in the emergency room three days earlier. "You're a lucky young woman, as well as a strong one. We found you just in time. Much more waiting, and you would've died of malnutrition. I'm going to ask you a few questions. If it's a yes or no, I want you to give me a thumbs up or thumbs down. If it's for an amount of time, hold up your fingers. Does that make sense?"

Kyleigh held up her right hand, giving him a thumbs up.

"Great." He gave her a warm smile. "First things first, do you remember your name?"

Thumbs up.

"Good. Trudy, could you get a piece of paper and a pen?"

Trudy soon returned, handing them over to Kyleigh. At Dr. Cullen's encouragement, Kyleigh scratched out her name, horrified by how messy her handwriting was.

Dr. Cullen took the pad from her. "Ky…Kyrie?" he asked.

Thumbs down.

"Kallie?"

Thumbs down.

Trudy took the paper from him. "I think it says Kyleigh."

Kyleigh gave a thumbs up.

"That's a beautiful name," Trudy told her. "How about your last name?"

Kyleigh again wrote it out, handing it to Trudy instead of the doctor.

"Montgomery?" She smiled when Kyleigh agreed. "Years of reading doctors' notes are finally paying off."

Dr. Cullen laughed. "I guess so. Great, Kyleigh, you're doing so well. How old are you? You can just hold up your fingers if it's easier than writing." He noticed how badly her hands were shaking.

They watched as she held up one finger, and then four.

"You're fourteen?" Dr. Cullen clarified before writing it down on her chart. Trudy gave Dr. Cullen a horrified look, which he acknowledged with a small nod.

"Alright, Kyleigh, let's move on: are you from the Portland area?"

She gave him a thumbs down.

"Okay. Are you from Oregon?"

Thumbs down.

"The Pacific Northwest?"

Another thumbs up.

Trudy and Dr. Cullen exchanged a look. "Trudy, could you get us a map, please?"

Trudy disappeared, returning a few minutes later with a freshly printed map of the United States.

With shaking fingers, Kyleigh pointed to Washington on the map.

"Washington?" he confirmed. "Excellent! Seattle?"

Kyleigh shook her hand in an either/or kind of way. Thankfully, Dr. Cullen understood what she meant.

"Are you from a different part of Washington then?"

Thumbs up.

Dr. Cullen sent Trudy to get a map of Washington. It took a few minutes, but Kyleigh eventually found it and pointed to Bellevue.

"That's a pretty area," he commented. Kyleigh shrugged and he laughed. "Okay, so you're from Bellevue. Did you come straight here from there?"

Thumbs down.

"I think she's saying she went to Seattle and then came down, right?" Trudy guessed. Kyleigh nodded.

"Alright. So why did you come here? Do you have family here?"

Thumbs down.

Dr. Cullen furrowed his brow. "Kyleigh, did you run away from home?"

Thumbs down.

Trudy and Dr. Cullen looked confused. "Were you at a boarding school here?"

Thumbs down.

"So what are you doing here? Where are your parents?"

Kyleigh shrugged. Dr. Cullen's golden eyes appraised her, making her feel naked. She tried to cross her arms, but met resistance from the wires attached to the crap attached to her left hand.

Dr. Cullen and Trudy seemed to be communicating with their eyes. Finally, Dr. Cullen asked when was the last time she'd seen her parents.

Kyleigh held up two fingers.

"Two days?" Dr. Cullen asked, resuming his questioning.

Thumbs down.

"Are you saying you haven't seen your parents for two weeks?"

Thumbs up.

Another look of horror passed between the doctor and the nurse.

Kyleigh gestured for the pen and paper, which Trudy gave her. For several minutes, Trudy and Dr. Cullen waited for Kyleigh to finish writing. Trudy took the paper from her gently, furrowing her brow as she read. "They left you? You mean like they abandoned you?"

Kyleigh did a thumbs up.

Dr. Cullen and Trudy were both speechless. Finally Dr. Cullen spoke, "did they say why?"

Kyleigh shook her head.

Dr. Cullen and Trudy looked at each other yet again.

Kyleigh gestured for the paper, which Trudy handed to her. After writing for a few minutes, she pushed it away. Trudy again picked it up. "Cursed? What do you mean cursed?"

Kyleigh took the paper back again. Trudy took it back. "Cursed blood? I don't understand what you mean, Kyleigh."

Kyleigh shrugged. How was she supposed to explain something she herself didn't understand?

"How about we take a break for a little while? You'll feel better in a few hours," Dr. Cullen lied. Kyleigh could tell when doctors lied. Dr. Cullen and Trudy backed out of the room. Kyleigh was sure that as soon as they were out of earshot, they'd start talking about her, but she didn't care. She was someplace safe and that was all that mattered.

Time passes differently in hospitals. Kyleigh could look at the clock and see it said 12:00, but not be certain if that meant a.m. or p.m. Once she had gotten rehydrated and eaten more food, she felt better. Dr. Cullen stopped by regularly to check her vitals and ask her how she was feeling. She knew they hadn't figured out what was wrong with her, and now that she could talk, she really felt bad that she wasn't much more help.

Within a day or two, her voice was pretty much back to normal, though she had enjoyed playing the guessing game with the nurses.

"Can we talk a little about our conversation the first night you were here?" Dr. Cullen asked a few days after she'd been admitted to the hospital.

"You mean our sign language session?" Kyleigh asked, trying not to laugh.

"Yes," he said with a smile. "That's one way to put it."

"Sure, go ahead. Do you want me to use hand signals again?"

Dr. Cullen just shook his head, laughing as well. "Talking will be just fine. You wrote the first day that your parents thought you had 'cursed blood.' Did they never clarify what they meant?"

"No, they just kept telling me I had dirty blood. They said it for years, for as long as I can remember. I was sick a lot when I was kid, so I figured that's why."

"Were you ever as sick as you were the night you came in?" Dr. Cullen had his ever-present notebook out and was writing quickly.

"Uh, yeah, right before my blood transfusion." Kyleigh said this casually but from the look on Dr. Cullen's face, she knew she'd said something dramatic.

"When did you have a blood transfusion?"

"Two years ago. That's when my mom was really insistent that I had cursed blood. She thought if we transfused it, it would get better."

"Did it?"

"Nope. That really pissed them off. She just couldn't accept the fact that my immune system sucks."

Dr. Cullen gave Kyleigh the same piercing look he'd given her that first night. Kyleigh was fascinated by the golden color of his eyes. She'd never seen anything quite like it.

"Where did they get the blood? Who was the doctor you saw?"

Dr. Cullen had asked about her doctor's name before. Kyleigh felt bad that she couldn't remember. "I didn't ask, I just did as I was told. Plus, I saw a lot of doctors back then."

"And they never figured out what was wrong with your immune system?" Dr. Cullen looked frustrated. "I'm just confused, Kyleigh. None of this is adding up. Do you know what they tested you for?"

"Everything, I'm guessing." Kyleigh was starting to get sleepy. "They didn't tell me much, just that my blood was dirty and they needed to fix it." She yawned widely then apologized.

Dr. Cullen smiled suddenly. "It's okay. I'm just going to take one more blood sample from you and then you can nap for as long as you want. How does that sound?"

"Aside from the whole stabby needle thing, it sounds great." Kyleigh yawned again, but held out her arm for him. His hands were freezing against her warm skin. She'd had so many injections/extractions/pokery over the years, that seeing yet another needle in her skin didn't bother her. Once he was done, he wished her a good night and withdrew from the room.

Kyleigh didn't like the looks on Dr. Cullen's and Trudy's faces when they came to see her two days later. Kyleigh put her book down. Dr. Cullen had been nice enough to bring her a stack of books to hold her over while they tried to figure out what was making her sick. He'd said they were a belated Christmas present; Kyleigh hadn't realized that she'd stumbled into the emergency room on Christmas Eve.

Again, they did their annoying clairvoyant communication before Trudy greeted her.

"Hi guys," Kyleigh said slowly. "Did you figure it out?" She'd posed this question to them several times over the course of the last 48 hours.

"We did," Trudy said shortly. She was definitely avoiding looking at Kyleigh, so Kyleigh turned to Dr. Cullen.

"Well?" she asked expectantly.

"Kyleigh, you have HIV," he said bluntly. Even Trudy looked surprised at how he said it.

"I have what?" Kyleigh asked. She had no idea what HIV was.

"It's an immunodeficiency disease," Trudy told her. She looked to Dr. Cullen, who said:

"HIV is a virus that attacks your immune system, kind of like the flu or a cold. But when you get the flu, you take some medication, get some rest, and a week or so later, it clears up and everything is fine, right?"

He waited for Kyleigh to nod before continuing:

"The difference with HIV is that your body can't fight it off like it can with the flu. HIV gets into your body and it compromises your immune system, so it can't fight back. Does that make sense?"

Again, Kyleigh nodded.

"The problem with that is then you're more likely to get sick, because your immune system is weakened. You said that you were sick a lot as a kid? That's because when you're growing up, your immune system isn't as strong as it will be when you're adult. The idea is once you reach a certain age, you won't get sick as much because of that, but if you have HIV, it's like your immune system never really grows."

"Okay…" Kyleigh thought this over. "So what do I do?"

"We're going to start you on something called antiretroviral therapy. These medications will keep the HIV in your system low, and hopefully keep your immune system healthier."

"And then it will go away? Like the flu?" Kyleigh asked hopefully.

Trudy bit her lip and for the first time, Dr. Cullen dropped his gaze. "Unfortunately, HIV doesn't go away. You will have it for the rest of your life, but with proper treatment, it shouldn't impact too much."

"How did I catch it? Is it because I have dirty blood?" Kyleigh was fighting back tears.

Trudy handed her a tissue. "We think it's because of the blood transfusion you had two years ago. It doesn't sound to us like your parents chose good doctors. A good doctor will use clean needles, which prevents infections from spreading, but it's likely that whoever performed the transfusion used a dirty needle."

"Am I going to die?" Kyleigh asked, more tears coming now.

"No," Dr. Cullen said firmly. "We're going to start your treatment today and it should help."

"But it will never go away," Kyleigh repeated.

"Unfortunately, no, but there are plenty of people who live long, healthy lives with HIV." Dr. Cullen reached out to stroke Kyleigh's hair but she pulled away.

"If I'm going to be sick for the rest of my life, it won't be healthy," she said quietly.

Dr. Cullen looked as though he wanted to say something else, but Trudy walked around Kyleigh's bed to him, taking his arm and leading him out of the room. Trudy looked over her shoulder at Kyleigh before walking away, but Kyleigh hid her face, not wanting anyone to see her cry.

"I'm a little confused, Kyleigh," Dr. Cullen said without preamble.

"You seem to be confused a lot," Kyleigh replied, not looking up from her latest book.

"You're a tough patient to crack, but it's okay, I like the challenge." Dr. Cullen sat down on the chair next to her bed. "All along, we've thought you were infected by that blood transfusion two years ago, but that doesn't jive with the progression of the disease."

Kyleigh finally put her book down. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want to bombard you with gobbledygook, but generally speaking, the early symptoms start within a month of the infection, then you go into something called latency, when the disease continues to grow without symptoms. It's pretty common for the disease to not fully present itself for almost ten years. Now, you could be an anomaly, but didn't you say your symptoms started before the blood transfusion you underwent?"

"Yeah, that's why I had the blood transfusion. My parents were convinced I had dirty blood. I don't know why, they're just weird that way."

"Right…but if the symptoms started before the blood transfusion, then it's unlikely it was caused by the needle." He sat down on the edge of her bed, his brow furrowed. "Why do you think they made you do the blood transfusion?"

Kyleigh shrugged. "Does it matter? We already know I have HIV, and now that you're treating me, and that's the important thing, right?"

Dr. Cullen smiled, though he looked sad. "This is why I'm trying to put it all together, so you can get the best treatment possible. And this just doesn't make sense. You're sure your mother didn't have it?"

"Pretty sure," Kyleigh said.

Dr. Cullen sat down on the edge of her bed. He furrowed his brow as he stared at her. "It doesn't make sense…let's go over this again. You had the blood transfusion two years ago, when you were twelve." He didn't wait for a response; it wasn't a question. "Your symptoms got worse after that but no one tested for it. Why?" He looked over at Kyleigh, expecting an answer this time, but she wasn't listening.

She gazed across the room, a look of horror on her young face. "Kyleigh?" he asked.

"Sorry," she said, her voice thick with tears she was fighting off. "It's just, it keeps hitting me that this isn't going to go away." She broke off, breathing heavily, trying to keep control.

Dr. Cullen stood up so he could go to her side. As soon as he placed his hand over hers, a small sob escaped her lips. She tugged her hand away, using it instead to cover her face while the sobs became more frequent, eventually completely overtaking her.

He hesitated before pulling her against him, cradling her in his arms. Words couldn't describe the noises coming from Kyleigh, who had completely lost it. Her tears soaked into his white lab coat, but he allowed her to cry it all out, knowing it would be better to do so than to stop her. At one point, a nurse walked into the room, apparently coming to check her vitals, but backed out quietly at Dr. Cullen's nod. Eventually her sobs slowed down and stopped completely save for a few hiccups. Kyleigh leaned away from him so she could wipe at her face. Once she opened her eyes and saw the wet spot she had left on his coat, embarrassment flooded her face.

"It's alright," he said, cutting off her apology. "Trust me, I have had much worse on this coat." He lightly tapped her under the chin. "I'm just going to get you a wash cloth for your face, alright? I'll be right back."

While she waited, Kyleigh rubbed her eyes. They were sore and already she could feel a headache coming on. Dr. Cullen soon returned with a warm washcloth and a box of tissues. He watched her gently rub the cloth over her face, soothing the swelling. Wordlessly, he held out a small trashcan for her to throw away her used tissues.

"Better?" he asked, his voice low.

Kyleigh merely nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"I'm sorry, Kyleigh. You've been given a lot of heavy information lately and not much time to process it. It's easy to forget how young you are."

"My parents didn't take me back to that doctor," Kyleigh said, surprising him. It took a moment for him to figure out what she was talking about then he put it all together. "They said he was dumb, since he didn't fix it."

He nodded slowly. "How on earth could you have contracted this disease then? It doesn't make sense." He was growing frustrated. "And why wouldn't they have pursued this further? None of this is adding up!" He stood quickly, surprising Kyleigh.

"Like I said, they were ashamed, I think." Kyleigh played around with a new tissue. "They didn't love me."

Dr. Cullen's face softened. "That can't be true," he said, though he doubted his words. "Of course they loved you. Who wouldn't?"

Kyleigh shrugged. "I'm broken. Who wants a broken daughter?"

"You are not broken, Kyleigh," he told her firmly. He walked back over to her then crouched down so they were face to face. "You're perfect just as you are, and we are going to get you healthier and then you will live the amazing life you deserve to live."

"Okay, Dr. Cullen." Kyleigh had suddenly grown sleepy, perhaps from the emotional exhaustion, perhaps from the disease fighting against her.

"Why don't you just call me Carlisle?" He smiled at her. "I think things will be easier if you do."

Kyleigh yawned. "Sure." She shut her swollen eyes against the harsh light of the hospital room, halfway to sleep. Right before she drifted off, she cleared her throat. "Carlisle, will you stay with me, just for a little while? I don't want to be alone."

"Of course I will, Kyleigh." Carlisle sat back down on the edge of her bed, and Kyleigh fell asleep, feeling reassured for the first time.

Kyleigh knew that Carlisle was trying to reach her parents, and then to reach any family members that she could remember. In the meantime, though, she was beginning to enjoy her hospital stay.

"That's a double letter score, right there," she crowed to Trudy.

"Yeah, yeah," the nurse grumbled. "Where'd you get so smart, anyway? I thought you said you'd missed school."

"I'm just naturally talented, Trudy. Be jealous." Kyleigh tossed her dark red hair.

"Sure you are." Trudy stood up. "I gotta get back to work, hon. Some of us have productive things to do, you know?"

"You just don't want to lose again," Kyleigh teased. Together, they packed up the Scrabble board.

"You just allow yourself to think that, Miss Kyleigh, and I'll be back to check on you later. Drink up, you need your fluids now that the IV is out." She poured another cup of water for Kyleigh then bustled out of the room.

Kyleigh leaned back against the pillows. The hospital was a boring place once you got stabilized. Under the supervision of Carlisle and Trudy, Kyleigh had managed to progress from a strict diet of Jello and broth to solid foods, though she really did hate the hospital meals. Every now and then, Trudy would sneak her some snacks from her lunch, which Kyleigh greatly appreciated.

Without Trudy to play with, Kyleigh was already bored. Carlisle had apparently pulled strings with the hospital so she could have a private room, but that meant hours of isolation as well. For a while she had terrorized some of the meaner nurses by removing the wires hooking her up to all the beeping machines so that they would run in, convinced she was dying. However, Carlisle had put a stop to it, saying that though it was surely very entertaining, it was also dangerous.

To keep her out of trouble, Carlisle brought her a Kindle and an Amazon gift card so she could download books. He also brought her a sketchpad with colored pencils, a Sudoku book, and a master book of crossword puzzles. She had at first refused the gifts, but eventually realized they weren't so much gifts as they were gateways to sanity.

"What are you reading today, Ky?" Carlisle asked that evening. He always made a point to visit at least twice a day, ostensibly to monitor her medication, but also to make sure she wasn't wreaking havoc on anyone.

"_Dracula,_" she responded. "It's a lot better than I thought it would be."

For some reason, this made Carlisle laugh, but he wouldn't tell her why, instead saying that she should check out some happier books so she wouldn't have weird dreams.

"No thanks. I like a little horror in my life. It keeps me on my toes, and it distracts me from my own personal tragedies." She set aside the Kindle so she could grab her sketchbook. "I drew you something, by the way." After flipping through several pages, she found the drawing she was looking for. She looked a little shy as she handed the page to him.

Carlisle examined it closely, a smile growing on his face. She had combined the spiraling sun and the rod of Asclepius into one symbol, so that the rod was in the center of the sun, but the snake made up the spirals around it. "This is wonderful, Kyleigh. Where did you learn about these?"

Kyleigh gestured towards her e-reader. "Just did some research. I thought you might want to have some sort of reminder of the things you do to help…though feel free to throw it away if you think it's weird or whatever."

"It's not hokey at all. It's one of the most beautiful gifts a patient has ever given me. I thank you." He slid the paper onto his clipboard and told her he would hang it up in his office as soon as he could. "How are you feeling?"

"Other than intense boredom, I feel pretty good. Better than I have in a long time."

"That's great! I'm going to keep you here for a little while longer, until we can come up with some sort of treatment plan, and then you're free to go."

The smile on her face slowly faded. "Go where though?"

The smile on his face also dimmed. "That's what I've been working on. Give me a little more time and I'll work something out. I won't let you be homeless, Kyleigh. We've worked too hard for that. Rest up, little one. Trudy will be back later." He turned to leave the room. "Thank you again for the drawing. It's perfect."

"No problem, Doc," she responded. Once he was gone, she picked up the notepad, though she wasn't sure what to draw next.

Kyleigh woke up to the sound of arguing, and for a moment, thought she was still at home with her parents. However once she opened her eyes, she realized she was still in Portland in the hospital.

"It's unethical for you to pay for your patient's hospital stay, Dr. Cullen," came a man's voice, sounding angry.

"She's underage and her parents abandoned her, what else was I supposed to do?" came Carlisle's voice, sounding much calmer than the other man's.

"Does this look like an orphanage to you? You should've called social services weeks ago!"

"She needed seriously medical attention. She has a serious disease that needed aggressive treatment. Now that she's stabilized, all she needs is regular medication and checkups and she'll be fine."

"Carlisle." Kyleigh could tell the man was trying his best to be calm. "We cannot just give away treatments or medication. Yes, this is a hospital, but we can't afford that."

"So you would rather allow an innocent fourteen year old girl die than give her proper treatment?"

The man sputtered, stalling for time.

Kyleigh was wide awake now and straining to hear the rest of the conversation.

"Furthermore," Carlisle continued, "I am paying for her stay and her treatments out of my own pocket. I don't believe you can charge me for that."

"The money coming from your pocket comes from your paycheck which comes from this hospital." Kyleigh imagined this man looking something like Phil from _Hercules. _The visual of Carlisle arguing with a goat man made her giggle, so she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"So what you're saying is it would be better for me to use said paycheck to buy ten fancy cars rather than save someone's life? Forgive me, but I don't believe this conversation is worth pursuing, and I have other patients to see. If you can come up with a better argument, feel free to call me. Good day."

This gave Kyleigh concrete proof: Carlisle Cullen was a badass, and she was so glad he was on her side.

**Thank you so much for reading! Please review and tell me if you want more **


	2. Pulled Apart

**Chapter 2**

Kyleigh heard the other man walking away from her room. She shut her eyes, pretending to be asleep when Carlisle entered her room. "I know you're awake, Kyleigh," he said softly.

Just the same, she made a big show of stretching, yawning, and blinking. "Hm?" she murmured.

"Nice try, little one. I'm sorry you had to overhear that." He walked over to check the monitors set up around her. "Your fever has stayed away from several days. That's a good sign. How do you feel? Other than bored."

Kyleigh glared at him jokingly. Telling him she was bored was her favorite response. "I feel good. I think I'm ready to leave…" she trailed off, again realizing she had nowhere to go. "Have you found my parents?"

"I'm afraid I haven't. I'm so sorry for that." Carlisle truly looked upset.

Kyleigh shrugged. "They might have gone back to Washington by now."

"I've tried the phone numbers you gave me. They've all been disconnected. And none of the other contacts you gave me have responded." He sighed heavily. "I really don't want to call social services for you."

Kyleigh began folding her blanket into small squares. "Do you think I could just go home? I can take care of myself."

"You're underage. If someone found out, we would both be in big trouble. And you have no income. How would you go to school or afford housing?"

Kyleigh had no response; she knew the answers to those questions, but didn't want to say them out loud. "What foster family would want to take me in? I'm sick. Unless you found me Daddy Warbucks, no one would want to deal with those expenses."

Carlisle and Kyleigh fell silent as a nurse came in with a tray of food. They both nodded at her, and waited until she had disappeared down the hall to resume their conversation.

"If you go into foster care, the state will cover your expenses until they find you a permanent home," he explained.

"Carlisle?" Kyleigh started then stopped. "Have you," she paused again. "Have you really been paying for my treatment?"

He appeared to be weighing his answers carefully, but finally told her that he had indeed been funding her stay.

"Oh god," Kyleigh said, burying her face in her hands. "How much has that cost?"

"It doesn't matter," he replied firmly. "Don't worry about that right now."

"Is that even allowed?"

"Kyleigh, don't worry about it," he repeated, but she was spiraling into hysterics.

"What will your family think? You have a wife, right? Do you have kids? Don't you need to support them? God, Carlisle, what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that everyone deserves fair treatment," he said, talking over her. "Do not worry about it. I won't hear another word of this, do you understand?" For a moment, he looked terrifying, and Kyleigh shut up. Eventually she nodded her agreement and his expression went back to normal. "I'm going to take care of you. I'll make sure you stay safe. Okay?"

Kyleigh nodded again. It was hard to swallow the lump lodged in her throat. Rather than respond, she ripped open her Jello package. "Try to relax for a little bit while I go sort this out with the hospital lawyers. You can't stay here forever, but I'll find you a good home."

Kyleigh ate her Jello silently, which Carlisle took to be her agreement. Once he left the room, she sagged back against her pillows, thinking hard.

The next day, Kyleigh met with Laura Flynn for the first time. Though she seemed nice enough, Kyleigh couldn't trust her. She didn't want to be put into foster care, and Laura and Carlisle knew that. Within a few days, Laura had found several parents wanting to meet Kyleigh to see if she was a good fit. Kyleigh met with all of them but kept coming up with reasons for why she didn't want to go with them. Eventually Laura lost her patience and chose a family for her, which apparently was usually how the process went.

Lisa and Ryan seemed like nice enough people. The day they met, Lisa brought Kyleigh a beautiful navy blue coat made of wool to wear out of the hospital. "I'd heard that you came into the hospital without one, so thought you should at least leave with something to wear." She smiled warmly. "Of course we'll go shopping once you feel up for it."

Kyleigh wasn't sure what to say. She really didn't want to like her new foster parents, but how could she argue with that? Her last day in the hospital was an emotional one. Carlisle was right, now that she was officially in the system, the state would be paying for her medical expenses. Kyleigh had accepted that she would be under Lisa and Ryan's care until they could find her something more permanent, but right before she left the hospital, she received the final blow.

"We're going to transfer your treatment plan to a different hospital," Ryan told her.

Kyleigh's jaw dropped. "You're going to do what?"

"We've found an HIV/infectious disease specialist closer to where you'll be living. Since you'll be needing monthly treatments, we thought it would be easiest to have you see someone close to home," Lisa explained.

"No," Kyleigh said, looking between Lisa and Ryan. "No way. I don't need monthly treatments! The rule is every three months."

"Your doctors have advised to make it every month until they're satisfied," Ryan explained.

"It just makes more sense, dear," Lisa told her soothingly. "Dr. Cullen has been wonderful, but driving three hours at least once a month just doesn't seem practical."

"No fucking way am I seeing some random doctor in the middle of nowhere," Kyleigh said angrily.

"Kyleigh, watch your language," Laura warned.

"Wouldn't it make more sense for me to see a doctor I like who makes me feel comfortable? Isn't it bad enough to take me someplace I've never been?"

Lisa and Ryan looked at each other worriedly. Kyleigh bet they were regretting their decision to foster her. "Kyleigh, honey," Lisa started, but Kyleigh cut her off.

"I won't go. I won't leave here unless I get to see Carlisle." She crossed her arms, dislodging one of the wires hooked up to her hand.

"What's going on in here?" Carlisle had apparently come running when the machine had started beeping.

"We just told her that we would be transferring her to a different doctor," Lisa told him, looking distressed.

"I'm not going to do it, Carlisle. I'm staying here with you."

Carlisle looked between Kyleigh's tear streaked face and Lisa and Ryan then sighed. "Kyleigh, it's up to them what they do."

Kyleigh stared at him disbelievingly. "No. You can't let this happen, Carlisle!"

"I really have no control here. It's up to them now. They're your legal guardians."

Kyleigh started crying hard. Carlisle asked if the room could be cleared for a few minutes. The three eagerly retreated, leaving Kyleigh and Carlisle alone. "Kyleigh, please don't cry." Carlisle walked over to her so he could wipe the tears off her face. "This is out of my hands now."

"I want to stay with you," she said between sobs. "I don't want to go. Please don't make me leave here. Please?"

Carlisle looked sadder than she had ever seen him. For the second time since they had met, he wrapped her into a hug, allowing her to cry it out. He ducked down, whispering in her ear, "Everything is going to be okay. I'll give you my phone number and if you ever need any help, call me. I don't care what time it is. I meant what I said: I'll take care of you." He slipped her a piece of paper, which she tucked into her coat pocket.

Kyleigh leaned back, taking the tissue he offered her and blowing her nose. "Okay," she said finally. "I doubt this specialist will hold a candle to you though." She attempted to smile and almost succeeded.

"Obviously," he replied. "But listen to them anyway. They're only there to help as well."

The others peeked their heads back in, checking that the coast was clear. Laura had Carlisle sign the official release papers for Kyleigh then with a nod to everyone left the room. Carlisle handed Lisa and Ryan a list of instructions and pamphlets on HIV while Trudy came in to help Kyleigh out of the bed. Trudy busied herself by packing up Kyleigh's sketchbook, board games and Kindle into a bag Lisa had brought her. When she turned to say bye to Kyleigh, the young girl was surprised to see tears in the nurse's eyes.

"Why Trudy," Kyleigh said, hoping that by joking she would keep her own emotions in check, "Are you actually going to miss me?"

"No," the nurse said firmly. "These are tears of joy. Now I don't need to come in here every five minutes to keep your butt out of trouble." Just the same, she pulled Kyleigh into a quick hug.

"Bye Trudy," Kyleigh said quietly.

Trudy didn't say anything, just gave Kyleigh one last squeeze and left to get back to work.

Much to Kyleigh's dismay, she was forced into a wheelchair for her final journey through the hospital's halls. However she was relieved that Carlisle decided to wheel her out instead of Lisa or Ryan. No one spoke during the long elevator ride or while they wound their way down the halls. Carlisle wheeled Kyleigh out the automatic doors. They continued to stay silent as Ryan ran off to get the car and Lisa pulled out her phone.

Carlisle came around so he was again crouching in front of Kyleigh. "Stay well, little one." He smiled sadly at her. "It's been a pleasure helping you."

"Thanks Carlisle. It's been real," Kyleigh said back.

Ryan pulled the car up to the curb. He came over, helping Kyleigh stand up and led her towards the car. After she had settled into the backseat, she turned to see Carlisle one last time. He gave her a small wave, and she watched him until they pulled out of the parking lot and she couldn't see him anymore.


	3. Living

**Chapter 3**

Lisa insisted on homeschooling Kyleigh so that she could restart attending school as a sophomore rather than stay behind a year. She'd turned fifteen shortly after moving in with Lisa and Ryan, which was the standard age for a freshman. Lisa had been horrified at the idea of having her repeat her freshman year and turn sixteen during it. Kyleigh didn't see the big deal, but it wasn't up to her.

Her new doctor, Dr. Chan, tried to explain to her that because Kyleigh went so long without treatment, catching up in school was going to take longer than it should. Lisa didn't seem to understand that though.

"Kyleigh." She could tell Lisa was working hard to stay patient. "It's just a division problem. You should be able to do this."

"Lisa," Kyleigh said, also trying to stay patient. "I've never been good at math and having you breathe down my neck really isn't helping."

They'd been working on math for the last two hours and Kyleigh was ready for a break. When she told her that, she got angry, saying students in school don't get breaks.

"Maybe they do things differently here, but in Washington, we got a morning break and then lunch and usually an afternoon study," Kyleigh pointed out.

At that point, her foster mom threw up her hands and left the room. Kyleigh shrugged. She'd gotten used to her dramatic outbursts. When it came to spending money on her, she was sweet as sugar. When it came to pretty much anything else, she had a temper. Kyleigh pulled out the phone she had insisted she have "just in case." Kyleigh didn't have any friends. Her contacts consisted of Lisa, Ryan, Dr. Chan and Carlisle, who she had resisted calling for the four months she'd been here.

Kyleigh took advantage of the time Lisa was out of the room to solve the problem without the pressure of her watchful eye. To her utter lack of surprise, she solved the problem pretty quickly when she had my own time to think. Her foster mother returned sometime later with a turkey sandwich and a glass of milk for Kyleigh.

"Oh good, you figured it out." She patted the young girl's shoulder. "I knew you'd get there."

Kyleigh smiled at her rather than say anything. It was too tiring to try.

By the time school started in September, Kyleigh couldn't wait to get out of the house. She had a note from Dr. Chan explaining Kyleigh's situation to the school's faculty and staff, as well as the doctor's blessing. Kyleigh had discussed her re-entry into school at length with the doctor. Together, they had decided that it would be best if Kyleigh kept her diagnosis to herself until she made friends she could trust. If anyone asked why she was in foster care, Dr. Chan advised her to say "mind your own business" and walk away.

The first day of the new term, Kyleigh put on her new school uniform: plaid skirt, white button down shirt, navy blue cardigan, pretty standard for any preppy private school. Kyleigh also put on some makeup, hoping that she could cover the dark circles under her eyes.

"Oh, look at you," Lisa said, clapping her hands together. "We have to get a picture before we go!"

"We do?" Kyleigh asked.

"Documentation is everything, Ky," Lisa told her. "Ryan, where's the camera?"

Ryan suggested they just use her phone; a typical lazy Ryan response.

Lisa made Kyleigh stand in front of the fireplace, making her feel like she was five and it was the first day of kindergarten.

"You look so cute! I think everyone will love you. I'm so excited for this!" After Lisa had gotten her fill of pictures, she hurried around the kitchen, toasting some bread for Kyleigh while Ryan gave Kyleigh the most useful advice she'd ever heard: "Don't believe anything these stupid hormonal prep kids say. You're way better than them."

"Thanks, Ryan," Kyleigh said, not certain how to feel about it.

"Ryan, don't bother her. Are you nervous? Excited?" Lisa slid the plate of toast in front of Kyleigh. "Did you take your ART?"

"Yes, yes, yes," Kyleigh responded in a monotone.

"Remember, if you start to feel ill, just go to the nurse. She's well aware of your," Lisa paused, "Your situation."

Situation was the new word for HIV, apparently. Kyleigh forced a smile to her foster mom and bit into the toast, though she wasn't hungry. During the short ride to school, Kyleigh's phone buzzed. She assumed it was Dr. Chan, reminding her to take her medication and stay strong, but she was wrong. It was from Carlisle. All it said was "Chin up, it's just four years," but those words were far more comforting than anything Ryan or Lisa had to say. She walked into the building with her shoulders squared, prepared to take on these so called hormonal prep kids.

"You really seem to be doing great, Kyleigh," Dr. Chan said. She folded her short legs underneath her. "Tell me how your first month of school went. Are you making friends?"

Kyleigh always felt awkward having these talks with Dr. Chan while they waited the allotted time for Kyleigh to stand back up after a blood test. "I think it's going well. I still haven't made many friends. These kids have all been in school together since they were like six, so it's kind of hard to fit in." Kyleigh continued to hold the gauze against her arm, adhering to the common phrase 'you peek, you leak!' "But I took on art as an extra elective, and that's been fun."

"How have you been handling your physical education classes? Would you say you're more fatigued than the others after gym class?"

Kyleigh hated these questions; how was she supposed to know how other people felt? "I've been taking iron supplements on the days I have gym, which has helped. I only had one scare but I think it had more to do with vertigo than anything else." At Dr. Chan's confused look, Kyleigh added, "Rope climbing."

"Ah." She nodded in sympathy. "I was always terrible at that. I don't understand why it's part of gym class."

The tech returned shortly thereafter to give Kyleigh a bandaid. Dr. Chan stood up after the tech left. "Well, we'll send you along the test results in a few days and you'll be good to go."

"Dr. Chan?" Kyleigh asked.

"Hm?" the doctor said. She was intent on writing out a new prescription for Kyleigh.

"Why do I have to come every month? I thought it was every three months."

Dr. Chan ripped the prescription paper off the pad and handed it to Kyleigh. "You went untreated for so long that we thought it would be best for a more regular checkup, just in case. I think in the new year we'll switch to every three months."

Kyleigh nodded. It made sense, but she didn't like it. "Have you heard from Dr. Cullen at all?" she asked.

Dr. Chan paused on her way to the door. "Periodically he'll contact me to ask how you're doing, but we aren't in regular contact. Why?"

Kyleigh shrugged. "Just curious."

"Well, unless you have any other questions, I'll see you next month! Keep an eye out for your results. We mail the full report a few days after the test." Dr. Chan held the door open for Kyleigh.

Later in the week, Kyleigh got her results in the mail. She looked them over then grabbed her phone, scrolling down to Carlisle's contact. "Blood still clean. I'm good to live for another month," she wrote then sent it off to him before she could second-guess herself. It wasn't until almost eleven o'clock that night that she received a response. "I told you you'd be okay. Good night, Kyleigh."

Kyleigh plugged her phone into the charger and curled up on her side. For some reason that night, she was filled with a sense of dread, though she should be happy. She was still healthy and well.

Lisa was relieved one December day when Kyleigh came home, asking if it was okay to spend the night at one of her classmates' houses. "Of course you can!" her foster mother said. "Which girl is it?"

"Her name is Bethany. We have World History together. We need to finish our final project, and then she said we could watch movies for the rest of the night."

"That's great, Kyleigh!" Lisa started rattling off things Kyleigh could bring with her to the sleepover. Though she'd never mentioned it, Kyleigh knew Lisa was worried that Kyleigh would never make friends.

It was with slight trepidation that Kyleigh got into Bethany's mom's car that Friday afternoon. She introduced herself as Pam, and encouraged Kyleigh to call her that rather than Mrs. Riley.

On the way home, Bethany asked her mom if they could stop and pick up some pizza for dinner. It had been a long time since Kyleigh had gotten to eat junk food; Lisa maintained a strict diet mostly devoid of anything yummy, and her parents usually just gave her leftovers. The girls happily ate the pizza while they worked on their history project.

"Can you believe that Felicity is going out with Matt?" Bethany asked in a backhanded kind of way.

Kyleigh, who was busy gluing pieces of paper with the definitions of different government types onto their poster board nodded vaguely. "Yeah…"

"Kyleigh," Bethany said with a laugh. "It doesn't make sense at all. He's a jock and she's a nerd. They don't go together."

"I guess so, but if they really like each other, then does it matter?"

From the look on Bethany's face, it did indeed matter. Kyleigh had seen enough movies to know that gossiping only led to trouble, so she just nodded and said "hm" whenever Bethany paused.

"Let me go grab the graphics, I'll be right back," Bethany said after almost an hour of pasting. While she was gone, Kyleigh glanced at her phone. One text from Lisa, asking how everything was going. Kyleigh sent a quick response saying everything was fine and she was having fun, to which Lisa responded with a smiley face. From somewhere upstairs, Kyleigh heard a shriek. She and Pam met each other at the bottom of the stairs, both looking confused. "Beth?" Pam called. "Are you okay?"

Kyleigh followed Pam up the stairs, where they found Bethany covered in ink, clutching some paper. "The printer exploded!" she said, tears rushing down her face.

"Oh honey," Pam said, walking over to her daughter. "It's okay," she said soothingly. Kyleigh watched as Pam gave her daughter a hug, comforting her. Kyleigh understood that it sucked to have your clothes covered in ink, but from the way Bethany was carrying on, it seemed like she'd been shot.

Pam sent Bethany off to shower and change. In the meantime, Kyleigh looked over the pictures. None of them were useable. Pam called Bethany's father to see if he could pick up a new printer on his way home from work, since it was pretty obvious they wouldn't be able to use this one. Kyleigh went back downstairs to where they had laid out the poster, waiting for Bethany to be done. Once she came back in, her blonde hair darkened from her shower. "What are we going to do?" she asked. Her eyes were still red rimmed, but otherwise she had pulled herself together.

"Wait until later? I think your mom sent your dad to get a new printer." Kyleigh pulled her knees to her chest. Bethany flung herself back down next to her.

"What are those?" she asked after some silence. Kyleigh looked around and saw she was pointing to some pieces of paper Kyleigh had been doodling on.

"Oh, I was free drawing while I waited for you to be done." Kyleigh moved to slide the papers out of the way, but Bethany grabbed them.

"Do you think you could draw some sort of picture or graphic or something for the poster? These are really good!"

"They're just doodles," Kyleigh said, embarrassed. "We should just wait until we can print those pictures."

"Forget about the pictures!" Bethany suddenly became animated. "This would be so much cooler! I bet we'd get a better grade because it's original and whatever."

"I guess…" Kyleigh still felt reluctant, but didn't want to seem uncool, so for the next hour, she did some practice sketches on extra pieces of paper until they picked a design they liked the most. Bethany found a new poster board for Kyleigh to work on. The room was silent save for the scratching of Kyleigh's pencil.

"That looks so cool!" Bethany said once Kyleigh had leaned back. Her hands were smudged with lead and she had a bad finger cramp, but otherwise she was happy that Bethany was happy. "We should color it in too, to make it a little more exciting." Thankfully Bethany volunteered to do the majority of the coloring. Kyleigh was starting to get sleepy; it was getting close to eleven, her usual bedtime.

Pam came in sometime later, asking if the girls wanted anything before she went to bed. "Do you want some popcorn or something?" Bethany asked Kyleigh.

"No thanks, I'm good." Kyleigh had thought they would just go to bed now that the project was almost done, but Bethany insisted that they watch the movies she had rented. They ended up watching movies until almost three a.m., when Kyleigh dozed off. Bethany teased her for it the next day while they ate breakfast.

"You're like a little grandma," she said.

"Gee, thanks," Kyleigh said back; she was still tired, but was following Bethany's lead on their schedule.

"Be nice, Beth," Pam warned. She slid a plate of eggs and toast in front of Kyleigh. "What do you girls want to do today?"

As Kyleigh ate, she remembered she had to take her meds, but wasn't sure what to say. She needed a glass of water and all she'd been given was a glass of juice.

"I don't know. What do you think, Ky? We could go to the mall or something." Bethany chewed on her toast while she waited for a response.

"The mall sounds great. I'll just need to call Lisa to let her know what time to pick me up."

"I can take you home whenever you want, honey," Pam said. Bethany looked just like her mom: slight, blonde hair, blue eyes.

"Oh okay." Kyleigh thought fast. "I'm just gonna call her super quick, to let her know that. Be right back." She excused herself from the table, going to Bethany's room to get her medication. The easiest thing to do would be to use the cup in the bathroom. Kyleigh nearly choked on it in her haste to swallow it and get back to the breakfast table, but managed to get it down fast enough. "She said that's fine," Kyleigh told Pam when she returned to the kitchen.

Kyleigh had a great day with Bethany. Pam dropped them off around one p.m. and said she would be back at half past four to take Kyleigh home. Though Kyleigh didn't have much spending money, so instead she and Bethany had fun trying on the ridiculous accessories at Claire's.

"What do you think of this?" Bethany asked, holding up a hot pink mustache to her face.

"I think you look sexy. You should consider growing one of those," Kyleigh replied. "What do you think of this?" She pulled on a lime green wig.

"That goes great with your hair. Very Christmas-esque."

They giggled so loud they got kicked out of the store, but neither girl cared. All was fine until they were at the food court, sipping frappes. Suddenly Bethany stopped laughing and kicked Kyleigh under the table. "Ouch! What the heck, Beth?" Kyleigh said, rubbing her shin.

"Don't turn too fast, but Matt just came in," Bethany said quietly.

Kyleigh flicked her hair off her shoulder then turned her head slightly, as she had seen in the movies. Matt had indeed just walked into the food court, along with Felicity. Now Kyleigh knew why their relationship upset Bethany so much. "Wait, do you like him?" Kyleigh asked, playing a little dumb.

Bethany shushed her. Matt and Felicity were approaching their table. As he got nearer, Bethany sat up straight, arching her back a bit to push out her small chest. Kyleigh stifled a laugh; she thought girls only did this in books. "Hey Matt," Bethany said in a would-be casual voice.

"Hi guys." Matt nodded at both of them. "What's up?"

"Not much. You?" Bethany replied, the standard exchange.

"Not a lot. Just hanging out." He squeezed an arm around Felicity's shoulders. Bethany faked a smile at them, complimenting Felicity on her shoes. Kyleigh stayed quiet throughout the conversation. She didn't really know Matt or Felicity well enough to say anything. Right before he left, though, Matt turned to her and said, "See you later, Kyleigh." He and Felicity walked out of the food court shortly thereafter.

"How did he know my name?" Kyleigh asked, feeling just as shocked as Bethany looked.

"I guess he just knows everyone," the girl responded, though she looked at Kyleigh strangely.

Pam dropped Kyleigh off at Lisa and Ryan's just before six o'clock. Bethany said she'd see Kyleigh on Monday, when their presentation was due. Kyleigh waved, exhausted from the weekend. She managed to evade Lisa's prying questions by saying she needed to lie down. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was fast asleep.

Kyleigh was astounded by how fast the last few weeks of the term went, but was relieved at the same time. She and Bethany got an A on their project. Bethany was right, they did get extra credit for Kyleigh's drawings.

Right before the final bell, Bethany came over to Kyleigh. "Merry Christmas, girl," she said, then gave Kyleigh a quick hug.

Kyleigh hadn't been expecting this, but recovered quickly, hugging her friend back. "Merry Christmas, Beth," Kyleigh responded. "See you in the new year."


	4. Holiday Update

Hi guys!

Sorry I haven't posted in over a week. I'm home for the holidays with no access to the chapters so you'll have to wait until after the new year for more. Sorry, but it's worth it, I promise ?

Update soon!

-newt


	5. Warmly Yours

**Chapter 4**

Kyleigh was amazed when Christmas rolled around. The year since she had met Carlisle and had her diagnosis had flown by. Christmas morning, Kyleigh found a small pile of presents under the tree, all addressed to her. Lisa and Ryan gave her some new clothes, a laptop, a _Monsters, Inc _phone case, and a few gift cards. Lisa was thrilled with the cashmere scarf Kyleigh had spent hours picking out, and Ryan gave his usual semi-apathetic smile when he opened her present to find a new wallet. "I thought maybe if you had a second one, it wouldn't be a big deal to keep losing your old one," Kyleigh told him, which actually made him laugh.

As a second part of Lisa's present, Kyleigh and Ryan decided to cook Christmas brunch.

"Ryan you're going to burn the eggs," Kyleigh said.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

Kyleigh groaned in frustration and lightly shoved him out of the way, taking the eggs off the stove. "This is why you never cook. Now I get it."

"I'm a great cook!" he replied.

Lisa and Kyleigh just laughed. This was the most animated Kyleigh had ever seen Ryan. "Maybe you should let me cook," Kyleigh said.

Ryan held up his hands in surrender. He disappeared into the living room, probably to watch sports.

"I didn't know you could cook, Kyleigh," Lisa said. She was sitting on a stool, sipping coffee and supervising the brunch making, though Kyleigh had told her to go relax.

"My repertoire is quite limited, but I can do the basics." Kyleigh placed the plate of eggs under the heating rack, a novelty Kyleigh had never heard of until moving into this house. She was almost done making the pancakes when Ryan came back into the room.

"Back for round two?" Lisa asked teasingly.

"Ha ha, you're really funny," he said back. "Actually I found another present for Kyleigh."

Kyleigh thought this might be one of those surprise gifts, where they pull out the big guns for the final present, but Lisa looked just as surprised as Kyleigh did. He handed her a decent sized box. "Watch the pancakes," she said, "and do not let them burn, or you'll be in big trouble."

He pretended to cower in fear, but Kyleigh ignored him. She set the present down on the counter. It was beautifully wrapped in gold sparkly wrapping paper. She felt bad ripping it, so she carefully unfolded it, pulling it away to reveal an art kit. The box said it included an array of graphite pencils, a blending eraser, a graphite sharpener, as well as a rainbow of colored pencils. There also was a brand new mole skin sketch book. She didn't see a card, but Lisa said it wasn't from her. Kyleigh flipped through the book, and found writing on the last page.

_Kyleigh,_

_I'm not sure if now that you're living your life you still sketch, but just in case, I thought you would want something better than a number two pencil and spare computer paper. We miss receiving your beautiful drawings. I hope you are well._

_Wishing you the very best,_

_I am warmly yours,_

_Carlisle_

_P.S. This is your Christmas present and your birthday present. Don't get greedy._

Kyleigh let out a laugh at the last line. She handed the sketch book to Lisa to read. "He writes like Charles Dickens. I've never seen a letter closing like that."

Kyleigh shrugged. "His name _is_ Carlisle. I've never met a Carlisle before either. Maybe he's a time traveler."

"Maybe he's the Doctor!" Ryan said excitedly.

"I still cannot believe you watch that show. You're a grown man," Lisa said, sounding exasperated.

"Ryan, you're burning the pancakes!" Kyleigh put the book down, running over to save the brunch.

"What do you want to do for your birthday?" Lisa asked one January morning on their way to school.

"I'm not sure." Kyleigh had never really celebrated her birthday. "We don't need to do anything."

"You only turn sixteen once, we should do something fun. Maybe you could invite some of the girls over and have a girls' night."

Lisa was always after Kyleigh to invite people over, but it made her feel uncomfortable, as though her space were being invaded. "Or we could go to a restaurant and see a movie," Kyleigh suggested.

"I suppose." Lisa sounded disappointed. "Well, you think it over and get back to me."

Kyleigh hadn't even told Bethany about her birthday, for fear of some sort of surprise birthday party. Now that she was friends with Beth, she had been absorbed into Bethany's friend group. Despite the number of sleep overs and movie nights she had been to with all of them, Kyleigh still felt like an outsider. It took a lot of work to pretend to be normal. Luckily, no one really questioned why she lived with Lisa and Ryan and not her parents, and she had written off taking her medication at sleep overs as taking something for her allergies.

"Here he comes," Bethany whispered to Kyleigh. Bethany's love of Matt had not faded over the holiday. "Do I look okay?"

"Yup, as usual," Kyleigh assured her pretty friend.

"Hi Matt," Bethany said loudly. She had gotten bolder now that Matt and Felicity had split up.

"Hey Beth, hey Kyleigh," he greeted. Kyleigh liked Matt, if only because he always included her.

"Hi Matt," Kyleigh said. "How was the game yesterday?"

"I'd tell you, but you wouldn't get it," he teased. She had horrified him when she revealed that she knew nothing about sports.

"Did you win at least?" she asked.

"We did, actually." He sat down on the corner of her desk. Kyleigh could feel Bethany glare at her, so she tried to redirect the conversation to include her.

"Bethany was just saying the other day we should check out a game before the season ends," Kyleigh said.

"Oh really?" Matt looked at Bethany. "I thought you hated basketball."

Bethany flushed under his gaze. "I don't hate it! When did I say that?" She twirled her long blonde hair around her finger.

"When basketball season started, I think." Matt furrowed his brow.

"She probably meant she hated basketball tryouts," Kyleigh said helpfully.

"That's totally what I meant," Bethany quickly agreed.

"Ah, my mistake. We have another game this Friday. You should come by." Matt slid off the desk, knocking it lightly before walking away.

"Thanks for that," Bethany said. She pretended to wipe sweat off her brow. "That was a close one."

"No problem." Kyleigh was starting to get better at social interactions. "It's actually my birthday on Friday."

Bethany looked shocked. "Your birthday is coming up? Kyleigh, why didn't you tell me?" She hit her friend lightly. "We have to have a party!"

"No we don't," Kyleigh said quickly. "Going to the game can be my party."

"You don't know anything about basketball though." Bethany rolled her eyes. "Let's do something fun!"

"I thought you'd jump at the chance to see Matt." Kyleigh kept her voice low.

"That's true." Bethany was clearly torn. "Well, let's go check out the game and if it sucks, we can go do birthday things. Want me to get the girls together?" She already had her phone out.

"Let's just keep it quiet for now, alright? I'm not big into parties and whatever." Kyleigh was relieved to see Bethany drop her phone back into her bag.

The following day, Wednesday, Kyleigh was dismissed early to go see Dr. Chan. Kyleigh thus far had been able to write off these appointments as typical teenage things-orthodontist, dermatologist, etc, but Bethany was growing suspicious.

"Where do you go every month anyway?" she asked Kyleigh at lunch on Thursday. "You say the orthodontist, but you don't have braces."

"They're checkups for my teeth. I had them taken off a year ago," Kyleigh lied.

"Kyleigh, come on. You don't wear a retainer. That doesn't make sense."

Kyleigh shuffled along the line, grabbing Jello. Lisa packed her a balanced lunch every day, but a few times a week, she snuck a Jello in for a dose of sugar.

"That stuff will kill you. Do you know what they put in that?" Bethany asked, her nose wrinkled.

"I do, but I choose not to think about it. Mind your own business, Beth." Kyleigh pretended to glare at her.

The two friends slid into seats at their regular table. The other girls Bethany was friends with continued gossiping and giggling, picking at their lunches. Kyleigh was the only one who ever truly ate anything, and even so she was the smallest of them all. This was occasionally a point of contention with the other girls, but Kyleigh didn't have time for their body issues. She had plenty of her own to deal with. This past month had been rough. She pretended to have the flu to avoid actually catching the flu when a small epidemic broke out at the school, and even so, she felt pretty off. She'd never admit it though. Pretending to be healthy was easier than going to the hospital.

"Earth to Kyleigh," Bethany said, waving her fork in Kyleigh's face.

"Sorry, what?" Kyleigh shook her head.

"You were, like, a million miles away," Bethany's friend Sarah said.

"Thinking about Cal Holbrook's butt, I bet," her other friend Katie added.

Kyleigh flushed. Since she hadn't expressed any interest in the boys in their class, they picked a different boy for her every day. "I was not, actually."

"Probably thinking about Matt's butt," Sarah said.

The table fell silent. Everyone knew of Bethany's crush, even if they didn't acknowledge it directly. Kyleigh chose to eat her Jello instead of say anything. It was dangerous territory. Eventually they started picking on someone else, but the tension was still there. After the bell, Kyleigh and Bethany headed towards history together. "You know I don't feel that way, right?" Kyleigh pulled Bethany aside by the door.

"Oh, I know." Bethany put a smile on her face. "You know I'd probably kill you if you did." She giggled at the look on Kyleigh's face. "I'm kidding! Come on, we're gonna be late."

Kyleigh spent the rest of the day feeling uncomfortable. Girls were hard to deal with.


	6. Breaking

**Chapter 5**

Lisa woke Kyleigh up early on Friday, singing "Happy Birthday" and holding a piece of coffee cake with a candle in it.

From the doorway, Ryan said "I told her to at least wait until you got downstairs."

"Don't be a spoilsport," she said over her shoulder. "Happy sweet sixteen, Kyleigh!"

Kyleigh sat up groggily. "Uh…thanks, Lisa." At her foster mother's urging, Kyleigh blew out the candle. "I hope you made a wish."

"I bet she wished you would go away," Ryan said.

Lisa glared at her husband. "Go back downstairs if you're going to be grumpy." Once he was gone, she turned to Kyleigh. "Just ignore him. Coffee cake is your favorite, right?"

"Yup," Kyleigh said, resisting the urge to add that a better present would be letting her sleep in. "Thanks, Lisa."

"Of course. I'll let you get dressed." She retreated from the room. Kyleigh groaned once she left, not wanting to move. The coffee cake smelled good though, so she hauled herself out of bed, if only so she could eat it. She must have stood up too fast because the room began to spin as soon as she got upright, making her stumble back into bed. To counteract the dizziness, she held her head between her legs, squeezing her eyes closed. She sat up more carefully this time, waiting to see what would happen, but everything was fine. Just the same, she stood up slowly, prepared to sit back down if need be. However, everything felt normal. She shrugged it off and started on her cake.

Twenty minutes later she walked into the kitchen to find dozens of yellow and blue balloons strung up everywhere. "Wow," Kyleigh said, "This is…wow."

"Is it a little much?" Lisa asked. "I just wanted the place looking nice for you."

"They're great!" Kyleigh assured her. She felt like she was always assuring someone. Kyleigh had to move balloons out of the way to put her plate in the dishwasher. "Thanks for the cake and the balloons. I love it."

"Of course! And after the game tonight, we can do whatever you want. I'd let you open gifts now, but you'll be late." Lisa pushed the pill case towards Kyleigh absentmindedly. It had become part of their routine. No need to dwell on it. Another wave of dizziness hit Kyleigh, making her grip the counter to steady herself. Lisa didn't notice though; she was still rattling off things to do this weekend. Kyleigh also took an iron supplement and some vitamin C for good measure, wondering if it was just her anemia acting up.

"Ready to go?" Lisa asked finally. "We can stop and get a hot chocolate on the way if you want. Are you feeling okay? You're looking pale."

"She always looks pale, Lis," Ryan said. Lisa and Kyleigh ignored him.

"I'm okay. I think I'm just tired. I'll feel better once I wake up some more." Kyleigh gave Lisa what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

Lisa gave her a searching look, then decided everything was fine. "Alright, let's go then! I'm sure your friends will have presents for you."

Kyleigh shuddered at the thought, and spent the whole ride to school alternating between feeling like she might vomit and feeling nervous about the day. She was thankful that there were no gifts in sight when she approached her friend group. Everyone wished her a happy birthday, and that was that. By the grace of god, she got through the day, though she still felt off when they took their seats in the stands to watch the game.

"There's Matt!" Bethany squealed, pointing across the court to where their schools' team was assembled. Though he was only a sophomore, he was almost the tallest. With his broad shoulders and thick dark hair, Kyleigh could understand why Bethany was so obsessed with him. "Go Matt!" Bethany shrieked, bringing attention to them. Matt glanced up into the stands and waved, though Kyleigh thought he might have been waving to her. Bethany didn't notice this though, instead pinching Kyleigh's arm in excitement.

Kyleigh hadn't the slightest idea what was happening in the game. She and Bethany cheered when everyone else cheered and booed when everyone else booed. Despite that, it was the most fun she'd had in a while.

"Let's go, Eagles!" she chanted with the crowd. The game went by much faster than she thought it would. They went into sudden death. Bethany and Kyleigh held onto each other, neither breathing.

The other team scored, then the Eagles scored, and so on, until it came down to Matt to break the tie and win the game. "Open your eyes," Bethany hissed at Kyleigh, who hadn't even realized she'd shut them.

"This is so stressful," Kyleigh whispered back. Around them, people from their school were chanting Matt's name, while people from the other school were catcalling. Matt bent his knees slowly then sprung up, throwing the ball. Almost in slow motion, the ball spun until it hit the backboard, bounced onto the rim, slowly spun around it and, miraculously, fell through the basket. There was a moment of quiet, then the gym erupted in cheers. Kyleigh and Bethany were jumping up and down along with the rest of the crowd, screaming and chanting "Eagles, Eagles!"

Kyleigh couldn't see Matt anymore. The whole team had jumped on him. "Let's stay behind to congratulate him," Bethany suggested. Kyleigh had expected this. She texted Lisa, asking if she could pick them up in fifteen minutes. While they waited for the crowd to leave, Bethany pulled out her compact mirror to check her make up. "You look fine," Kyleigh told her. "Let's go, we might miss him otherwise." Truth be told, she couldn't care less if they saw Matt. She just wanted to go home.

"Congratulations, Matt!" Bethany half-yelled at him. She went to throw her arms around him, but he stepped back.

"Trust me, you do not want to touch me right now. I'm covered in sweat." Instead he held up his hand for a high five. She looked a little put out though.

"That's gross," Kyleigh said, laughing. "You should go shower."

"You should go shower," he shot back.

Kyleigh pretended to look offended. "Excuse you, I smell perfect. You're the sweaty one."

"What if you actually smell really bad and have no idea though?" Matt teased. "How can you tell?"

"Because I'm flawless." Kyleigh flipped her hair dramatically. One look at Bethany's face sobered her quickly though. "Anyway, just wanted to wish you a good game." Kyleigh stepped back from Matt, feeling guilty.

"You were great," Bethany said. "Good game."

"Thanks, Beth," Matt said. "Anyway, I should probably actually go shower."

He started to back away but Bethany stopped him. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"

Matt paused. "I'm not sure, why? What are you guys doing?"

"It's Kyleigh's birthday, so we were thinking of going out," Bethany said this casually. It was news to Kyleigh though. Her plan had been to go home and eat Chinese food.

"No way! Happy birthday, Kyleigh!" Matt stepped forward and high fived her as well.

"Thanks, Matt. We aren't really doing anything though," she said quickly.

Bethany glared at her. "I thought we were going out to eat."

"I was thinking of just doing take out though. I'm kind of tired." Kyleigh crossed her arms, feeling very uncomfortable now.

"Well, it's your birthday, you can do what you want to," Matt said. "I'll catch you guys on Monday." He waved then jogged off towards the locker rooms.

Kyleigh looked at Bethany, who was still glaring at her. Rather than say anything, Kyleigh started towards the door. Lisa would be there any minute.

"What's your problem?" Bethany asked, after they'd gotten outside and were waiting.

"What do you mean?" Kyleigh asked tiredly. She was so exhausted.

"First you were flirting with Matt, when you swore to me there weren't any feelings there. Then I tried to get him to go out with us, and you shot it down. What the hell, Kyleigh?"

"I'm sorry, Bethany. I didn't mean to flirt with him. We were just talking." Kyleigh stifled a yawn.

"Right, sure you were. 'Oh, I'm flawless,'" Bethany imitated Kyleigh's voice, "What the hell was that?"

"I was just joking around with him." She stifled another yawn. "It didn't mean anything."

"I think he likes you," Bethany said, her voice full of contempt. "And I think you like him."

"I do not like him." Kyleigh was growing so frustrated with this conversation. "I have no idea how he feels, but I don't like him that way. Calm down."

"A good friend would've gone along with me so we could go out with him." Kyleigh could almost hear the pout in Bethany's voice. For a second she had a flashback to their first sleepover, when Bethany had practically thrown a tantrum because she'd gotten ink on her clothes.

"Bethany, please, I'm really tired and I just want to go home, okay? I don't feel that great, alright?" Kyleigh leaned against the wall as she said it.

"Whatever," Bethany muttered. They stood in silence. Kyleigh was sure Bethany was typing everything that had just been said out to Sarah and Katie, but she didn't care. All she wanted was to curl up on the couch and watch _Titanic. _Kyleigh had never been so happy to see Lisa's Honda swing into the parking lot before. She headed over to the car without waiting for Bethany.

"Hi, hon!" she greeted me. "How was the game?"

"A lot of fun. We won!" Kyleigh said, working hard to muster up some enthusiasm.

"That's great. Hi Bethany, how are you?"

"Hi Lisa, I'm good, thanks." Bethany smiled sweetly at Lisa. For the first time, Kyleigh felt a little uneasy around her friend.

"So what do you girls want to do?" Lisa asked as she pulled away from the curb.

"Yeah, what should we do, Kyleigh?" Bethany asked. Lisa didn't notice the contempt in Bethany's voice.

"I was thinking we could just get some Chinese food and watch movies tonight. The game was a little too exciting for me. I need a night in." Kyleigh thought she was being pretty reasonable, but Bethany clearly didn't agree.

Lisa caught Kyleigh's eye in the rearview mirror. "Are you feeling okay, Ky?"

"I think I'm just really tired. Maybe we can all go out and do stuff tomorrow night, but tonight I just need to rest." Kyleigh avoided looking at Bethany as she said this.

"Well in that case, maybe we should bring Bethany home? Or are you okay with a movie night in?"

"Sure, that sounds great!" Bethany said.

Kyleigh looked over at Bethany. She seemed to mean it and Kyleigh hoped that meant everything was fine between them. At home, Ryan had put away the majority of the balloons. He greeted them with a takeout menu to Kyleigh's favorite Chinese restaurant. After placing their orders, the girls went into the living room to pick out a movie.

"Hey," Bethany said quietly so that Kyleigh's foster parents wouldn't hear. "I'm sorry for getting mad. I think it's just my period acting up, you know?"

"It's okay. I totally get it," Kyleigh lied. She still hadn't gotten her period.

"We can go out tomorrow night. It'll be more fun that way anyway. Going out on a Friday can be lame." Bethany winked at Kyleigh. Once Bethany had gone back to looking through their movie selection, Kyleigh still watched her, amazed by the mood swing. If that was what happened when you go your period, Kyleigh didn't think she wanted it at all.

The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. Kyleigh and Bethany split some lo Mein and crab Rangoon while watching _Titanic. _They were both eager to get to their fortune cookies though. They were Kyleigh's favorite part. "It's tough to be fascinating," Bethany read out loud.

"It does not say that." Kyleigh took it away from her, laughing when she realized it really did say that. "Oh my god, that's the best fortune I've ever read."

"Read yours!" Bethany urged, already biting into her cookie.

"Enjoy yourself while you can," Kyleigh read. "Well…that's ominous."

"Yeah…" Bethany nodded. "Maybe you should open another one."

"I don't know if I want to push my luck. Besides, I don't think I could beat yours. It was pretty epic."

"What can I say? It's tough to be fascinating," Bethany replied, sending them both into peals of laughter.

They finished _Titanic _and started watching _Finding Neverland, _but they both fell asleep on the couch before it was over.

Kyleigh had insane dreams. Carlisle was there, holding her hand, telling her it would be okay, but she wasn't in her body. It was like she was sitting up on the corner of the room, looking down on everything. Trudy came in, handing Kyleigh her pill to take, situation normal. Then Carlisle pulled out a syringe and injected it into her arm. Though she was watching from above, she felt the sting in her own arm and looked down at it. There was a small injection hole there and some blood was leaking out. Carlisle looked up from bedridden Kyleigh to ceiling Kyleigh, nodding at her.

As soon as they looked each other in the eye, Kyleigh felt a horrible stabbing cramp in her abdomen. Both Kyleigh's convulsed and cried out from the pain. Ceiling Kyleigh saw blood begin pouring from bedridden Kyleigh's nose and felt at her own face, gasping in horror when she realized her own nose was bleeding. "Carlisle," she tried to say, but blood got in her mouth and she gagged.

The world flipped over, sending ceiling Kyleigh spiraling down until she landed on top of bedridden Kyleigh, staining her with blood. Ceiling Kyleigh turned to Carlisle, desperate for help, but he just stood there, saying over and over that it would be okay. "Help!" she screamed at him. Blood was coming from everywhere and he wasn't doing anything to stop it. "Carlisle!" she screamed again.

"Kyleigh? Kyleigh!" Someone was shaking her. In the background, she heard someone screaming Lisa and Ryan's names, but she it was like she was trapped underwater and couldn't break the surface.

"Kyleigh, honey, can you hear me?" She recognized Lisa's voice. "Ryan, call 911! Bethany, stay over there, stay away from the blood. Kyleigh, Kyleigh, wake up, Kyleigh."

Kyleigh tried to talk but choked on something warm and wet. Someone pressed something against her face. "There's blood everywhere, Ryan, hurry up!"

Kyleigh managed to force her eyes open, though the room was entirely out of focus. If not for the sound of Lisa's voice, Kyleigh would have no idea who the blurry outline standing over her was.

"Bethany, did you touch the blood?" Ryan asked somewhere far away.

Kyleigh could hear Bethany crying, but couldn't hear her answer to Ryan's question.

"Stay away from the blood, okay? Come on, come sit in the kitchen, I'm going to call your parents."

"Ryan, make sure there's none on her. If there's any on her clothes, grab her something of mine," Lisa instructed then turned back to Kyleigh. "We've called an ambulance, sweetheart. Just hold on."

Soon Kyleigh heard the whirl of sirens, fading in and out. The door burst open, followed by loud footsteps and louder voices. Kyleigh realized her nose must be bleeding like it had in her dream.

"She has HIV, be careful," Lisa warned the paramedics.

"Ma'am, you should go shower before you come to the hospital then," a man's voice said.

"I'm not leaving her, she's my daughter."

It was the first time Lisa had ever identified herself as Kyleigh's mother. For just a moment, it calmed Kyleigh down. But then she was being strapped to something and lifted in the air. "Lisa!" she called out. "Ryan?"

Lisa and the paramedic were still fighting over what Lisa should do. Kyleigh drifted out of consciousness before she figured out the resolution of the fight.


End file.
